So as of recently I have become more aware of my depressive tendencies. It seems to come on me without logic or reason. So the cloud will envelope my mind. And it’s like an awareness comes on me. And I realize that nothing can make it stop. It just hangs around me. And most attempts by others to break it, tend to just build up the wall. Annoy me. And though I realize, at some level, that I may be hurting those around me, at another level I feel like it’s beyond my control. And any attempts to get out, only drags me further down. But when I take a moment, or a long time, to analyze rather then fight, it seems to slowly dissipate.
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Now. In the opposite spectrum. Today at work, and more and more from time to time, I am sensing a deep level of satisfaction. A satisfaction from the realization that I am accepted. I don’t need to hide. I can be real. Because I can grow.
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So. It’s a jumpy situation. Great times. And an excitement that the tunneling is dead. And then once again I find myself burrowing again. But. One we go. And hopefully, more and more upward movement and less and less downward digging. Embrace Grace. 🙂
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Step by step stop hating yourself, and those around. Let’s learn together. Live real. Love alive. Admit lack. Forgive. Grace.